Sunday, February 28, 2010

Duck City Shenanigans

Its been a fucking whirlwind of old friends and random acquaintances.
Thursday hung out with Adam and Dannielle and at some Jamaican food( not the best jerk pork I've tasted)
Friday hung around my mom's, talked to my brother in Detox, tried to sort the truth from lies. Then my sister in law came over with my nephew. Montana seems to love watching people( or just me) headbang. He giggled alot. Pulled my beard. Fun to be an uncle when you actually get to spend time with your nephew.
Then went to the alumni basketball tournament with Adam and Danielle, the straight to KD's bar and got more drunk than I planned to, stayed til bar close talking to random people i haven't seen in years.
Saturday went and got some vinyl at Ear Wax on state street. Also at/drank at Ale Asylum in Madison. Fucking awesome beer. 10.2% Taboo beer is mouthwatering.
Came back and took a quick nap before I went back to KD's bar. Cheap drinks but no hard cider so i couldn't share the knowledge of what a Johnny Jump up tastes like( heaven if you are wondering) Got a bit shitshow. But not Minneapolis shitshow.
Today I visited Jules and little Max for a while, hopped on over to Portage and sat at Billy's Bar where Dan was bartending. Shot the shit with him for a while, then proceeded to haul on over to Sun Prairie to meet up again with Adam and his girlfriend so we could catch the 9:30 "The Crazies", decent survival horror, nothing super special though.
Gonna stick in town until tuesday afternoon because my mom is babysitting the nephew on Tuesday and I wanna see the little squirrel before I head back up to the Mini Apple.
Hope to get together with someone fun on Tuesday night and chill and watch movie at my place.

Final Summation: No sex since November is starting to get to me...

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Going Home on Thursday

So i'm gonna make the 4 hour drive down to Lodi i think on Thursday.
Because my mom needs some taking care of in light of the news that my brother fucked up again. This time pretty big.
I hope he is ok but i'm really pissed at him.
He is always gonna be pulling this shit it seems.
Ever since i can remember he was addicted to something, first it was just adrenaline, getting in trouble jumping off stuff but now its gone far and beyond that.
God what an asshole. I love the kid but what an selfish asshole.
This time he better get his head on straight.

On the upside i will get to see my nephew most likely. And Jules, Max and Dan. Plus I guess its Alumni weekend this weekend so I'll run into alot of people I use to go to school with.

Final summation: wish i were traveling on a happier note.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Timewarp Thru Music

Here are some random songs that remind me of milestones in my life or just random times in my life that will forever be associated with those songs.

"When One Eight Becomes Two Zero's."
Glassjaw from Everything You Every Wanted To KNow About Silence
This song reminds me of riding shotgun with my buddy Adam on the way to school senior year on a super foggy morning. So foggy that we could barely see the bus we were tailing but yet the sun was shining down and through the fog making it kind creepy.
I gave this Album to Adam for his 19th birthday and we were listening to it for the first time having never even heard of the band before but we both fell in love with it immediately. The misogynic lyrics found root in our respective newly broken hearts. Daryl's screams felt like our pain. It made it ok to feel so bitter.

Son Volt from Trace
I heard this song after my dad died and there hasn't been a time hearing it that I don't think of this kind of chase camera from a 3/4's angle of him on a two lane road in the middle of nowhere riding his motorcycle. The wind whipping his hair and beard making his face red everywhere except the skin hidden by his sunglasses. As the song goes on I imagine the camera panning in more and more until you see this grin of freedom on his face.

Alkaline Trio from Goddammit!
I was introduced to this by way of a mutual friend Eric while sitting his dorm room listening to his band When Push Comes To Shove's newly finished pop punk record and loving it. He was going on and on about his bass influences and he tosses on Goddammit! and boom, it hit me like an acme anvil right between the eyes. Now when ever I listen to it I remember the drunken walks on state street, chugging booze in the dorms the wandering on the bike path along the lake.

"Jesus Don't Want Me For A Sunbeam"
Nirvana from Unplugged
Another heartbreak story. I listened to this song on repeat after I was unceremoniously dumped by my first highschool girl friend. I laid in bed in the dark (as my room at the time had no windows since it was in the basement) all day, playing over and over. Not leaving my room for days. Very over dramatic.
One of the few Brian Wilson moments in my life.

Wu-Tang Clan from Forever( disc 2)
This song brings me back to working in the Snowboard shop at Devil's Head, being barely awake at 8:30am and blasting this song as we got ready to open up for all the asshole tourists who treated us like shit. My hands would freeze everytime a board came back in and then we'd have slushy snowball fights with the excess snow stuck to the boards. Fun times.

"Days Like This"
Van Morrison from Days Like This
Sunday mornings with the sun shining into the big picture window in my parents living room, mom cooking bacon and making coffee and dad reading the sunday paper while we just lounged around waiting for the bacon to get extra crispy, mom would play ALOT of Van Morrison but this song and album for some reason sticks to me and reminds me of being a little kid.

"God Of Thunder"
Kiss ( live)
My first concert that I paid for myself. I went with my best friend Leif after months on not talking to eachother from a fight we had at the beginning of freshman year. To make up he offered we go see Kiss. Good choice. We got dropped off( yes we were those kids) at the Dane Co. Coliseum and we had shitty seats but you could still see Gene Simmons rock the blood and fire theatrics from our nosebleed seats. Simply amazing.

AC/DC from AC/DC Live
Leif, my brother and I had just eaten an eighth of mushrooms and we were on our way to a party when we rolled down main st. in Lodi in Leif's Robin's Egg blue Chevy Nova. The engine was rumbling as we came towards the middle of town and the shrooms start kicking in. The live version of this song has this extra long into and as its beginning we see all this smoke and orangey light coming down one of the side streets. Apparently there was a building on fire but as those first riffs kicked in it sent chills down my spine and made for one of the best night of hallucinogenic fun I had during my high school days.

"High As The Moon"
Get Up Kids from On A Wire
Playing this song brings me back to a snowy desolate night driving home after work at Devil's Head on highway 60 between Sauk City and Lodi. The ground had a good few feet of snow covering the corn fields and the moon was full and just massive (a wolf moon i believe) so I could practically drive the rest of the way home without my headlights on. Makes me happy just thinking about that sight.

"Chemical Warfare"
Dead Kennedys from Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables
This holds a special place in my heart. I spent every summer from 14 til I was 19 working on the golf course at Devil's Head( i spent alot of time there) Having to be up at 6:30am after a night of partying to clean golf clubs, park gold carts and sell beer to Flatlanders up for a weekend of boozing and schmoozing you need to be in the right frame of mind. This was my song to pump me up for the day as I took the Merrimac Ferry that was at that time of the morning caked in run over Mayflies. Having that 7 minutes of rest while crossing the Lake Wisconsin really put me in the perfect frame of mind.
True Story: if you are cleaning the golf clubs of an old man and he tells you to "take 'er easy" you need to respond " I'll take her anyway i can get her and if she's easy I'll take 'er twice" 5 dollar tip automatic. Works like a charm.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Preschool Tea Party Massacre

This band is great in short bursts only because of all the movie samples they use. Otherwise its generic grindcore.
Anyways this is someones homemade video for the song, couldn't find any real videos but try to enjoy.
Happy Sunday

Are you the keymaster? I am the gate keeper?

At this point I'm pretty sure no one is reading this blog, which is actually kind of fine with me because i suppose it will give me more freedom to really say whats on my mind without sugar coating it as not to hurt my friends feelings. One upside i guess.
I suppose one truth that i haven't really expressed is my disappointment in my Australia trip, more in the sense that it wasn't as drunk mayhem as i hoped it would have been, as well as I think the connection between my host and myself deterirated as opposed to becoming stronger which i hoped for. There are circumstances that attributed to it being more lax, like her being sick part of the time. But not getting to meet more of her friends, or hit up interesting night spots or honestly being more intimate was a bit of a let down. Can't lie. I don't know the reasons for this, though i can speculate, but I had a bit higher hopes. If I'm gonna be honest, there it is.
I do kind of hate that all i seem to do is bitch on this blog, it would be real nice to have a positive gushing diatribe but i'm so mixed up on what i want vs what i get that I can't help but bitch about the situations i put myself in.
I either jump out right away and am super intense with my feelings or I am so subdued that i hardly get excited about anything. The former scares girls away and the latter makes me bored.
All I know is I want to begin to settle down, not like right away but take the first steps to getting there. So far here in the midwest I've not found exactly what I'm looking for, I've found girls that are fun and are out to party all the time, i've found professional girls that don't have time for a fuck up like me etc... I just haven't found my intellectually compatible mate. I've had the under qualified and the ones that put my knowledge to shame but yet to find that middle ground where I'm not gonna get bored and I'm not gonna be boring.
I'm not knocking the girls i know because i know some great girls but either I or they aren't interested in anything long term, settle down type situations with each other.
Like a fucking broken record I say it time and time again but I need some major change to take place to propel myself into the next phase of adulthood.
I've been a Toys R Us kid for far too long.
I just hate to think that I am going to have to settle or that someone would settle for me.
Either there is a connection on looks or one on personality but thus far I haven't gotten both in one package, sadly since my former fiancee', who honestly really wasn't compatible with me but I tricked myself in to believing she was because I wanted it so bad to be true.
With my luck the more i type the more I alienate anyone I know who would even be interested in me or i sound like a whiney bitch. Whatever the case its far from attractive.
boo fucking whooooo hahaha

Final summation: i'm not getting any younger

Friday, February 19, 2010

It Puts The Lotion On Its Skin....

Lots of debate going on in my head. Is this anything new?
A: No it is not.
I swear sometimes I have ADD for life.
One of the debates going on in my head is whether to move to San Diego as i planned on or maybe just throw all my shit in storage for a bit and travel Europe.
I don't honestly know.
Its nice to be able to have both of these as possibilities. The Europe one being more of a pipe dream until the US dollars exchange rate with the euro bounces back to a level that makes it more fair.
The idea either way is to open myself up to meeting new people and take my photography to a higher level.
It is about the only thing interesting me at this point is taking pictures (and if you know me you will insert a joke about taking pictures of myself at this point)
The way I look at it is once I get my living situation shored up after my lease ends then the other debate raging in my head( substitute debate for wishful thinking) about girls will either narrow or greatly expand the possibilities.
My big problem is I've burdened myself with wasting years and much money on my collections, the action figures, the screen prints, movie posters, dvds, records etc... not to mention having my oh so comfortable massive bed to lug around with me.
I could give all that stuff up or sell it or store it, but being the American mass consumer that i've been conditioned to be, i would miss that stuff.
That is sad statement.
I would miss that stuff.
Still its true none the less.
It would be so much easier to have someone motivating me to make these big life changes like it was when the decision to move to Minneapolis was made. Scary yes but having someone right there in the thick of it with me was also soothing. Not to say I wasn't a nut case leading up to said move. But I seem to work better in pairs or groups than as a lone wolf. Which is surprising considering how much I enjoy my alone time. But I digress...
All i really need is a suitcase of clothes, my computer, my meds, and the cash. The rest is a peripheral anchor weighing me down.
I have an envious nomadic heart but a concrete mind. Weighs me down.
Still this is my year of change, not sure what fashion that means, i'm guessing on change of location but maybe its as simple as frame of mind. Or maybe it will end up with me finally having true adult responsibilities. Like I really have a fucking clue.
And this is the tornado that is constantly swirling in my head even as i try to sleep.
No wonder I'm a head case.
So yeah... San Diego or time in Europe? Either way I have two years to get established somewhere to meet a personal goal.
And if anyone even mentions school I am gonna drop kick a puppy as far and as hard as I can. And its gonna be a cute one, so don't fucking mention that to me anymore.

Treat for sitting through this rant: a song that has been stuck in my head for weeks

final summation or advice: Should I stay or should I go now? If I stay there will be trouble, if I go there will be double

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

In Love and Lonely

Booze soaked rant ahead, so tread lightly

Finally went out to the T Rock for 241's. The first time in a few months. I got pretty schwasted. Still isn't the same without spending time with a girl I fancy.
Its nice to talk to random women but it just isn't the same as spending most of the night drinking and talking with someone I want to spend ALL of my night with.
Honestly without lying there are three girls that I wish i was wasting a night with. I won't name them because I can pretty much guess that they already know who they are and I dunna wanna make anyone feel bad.
Single life isn't fun. It can be, but thus far I'm over it.
I truly wanna be with someone for the long haul. One person I thought I might be with, is both too far away and pretty much not interested in putting effort into making it work.
Then i have atleast one person who I've got flirting with me and I am still waiting to find out our compatibility factor. May be quite high, might be that we are just ships passing in the night.
Still wanna try.
I'm such a sucker for romance even when I know that its most likely not in the cards.
Sometimes I feel like a teenage from mars.
A cliché' of what I want to be, and clichés' aren't attractive. At least not from what I've heard.
Please, can i just get my act together enough to have one woman stupid enough to waste her time on me for the long haul. I'm sure I can do my best not to disappoint.

Morning after
Ouch my head, isn't it funny how the truth pours out after you've poured enough liquor down your gullet?
Mellodramtic but true words all the same, its slightly sad i think. But thus the truth usually is. haha

Monday, February 15, 2010

True Story:
Dreamt that they were preforming marriages at my old school for high school students during school hours. Like mass weddings as a class sort of but for real. In the dream I think i was suppose to be still in high school.
I went around yelling at the administration and students things like
" do you really want to have one dick to suck or one pussy to eat for the rest of your life this early!?"
"How many 30 somethings get married then end up cheating and you are how old?"
or I asked the administration if they get a cut of the divorce fees?
Then somehow I was on the Letterman Show ranting about this like Harvey Pekar use to do on the Late Show when he was a guest.
I was throwing a shitfit about it was mixing church and state, how it singled out the gay students to be taunted and how marriage was wrong and being young you should get as much strange as you can while you can... blah blah blah.....
Then I was back at the school watching the weddings take place still super pissed off and then bam!
I realized I wasn't in high school anymore and I just shrugged my shoulders and walked through the parking lot to my car and left.
Then I woke up.

Isn't great how my dreams are just as jaded as the rest of me?

Final summation: Dude, I thought we said no more Journey pschye-outs.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Getting V.D. Once A Year Is Once Too Many

Thought this song was appropriate for today. I've been a huge fan of Jamie T.'s album Panic Prevention and his new one Kings & Queens is starting to grow on me.

Anyway enjoy this if you are sitting at your computer today like me...

this one is self explanatory

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Lung Butter and Chocolates

Two terrible jokes that sum up my mood lately.... misogynistic and rude, angry and cruel
Q: Why do women have two sets of lips?
A: So men will talk to them.

Q: Whats the difference between jam and jelly?
A: I can't jelly my dick in your mouth.

Enjoy your VD.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Laundry Day Hooray!!!

I'm living in the den of an-sick-quities right now.
Both my roommate and myself have woeful respiratory colds and its annoying the shit outta me.
Hate is not a strong enough word for when my sinus are all pressurized and leaking at the same time.
Dayquil is the bane of my existence because it really doesn't work, not enough to function anyway, i just feel zoned out and stuffy instead of achey and stuffy. Both are just as bad as the other.
I just wanna curl up and watch movies and drift in and out of consciousness with someone to get my vitamin waters when i need them.
I despise getting sick, even the littlest bit for when I do, all i want is to be babied and taken care of and currently I am without said caretaker.
Really I don't even care that I'm sick over the valentine's day weekend because well lets be honest I'd be spending it at the bar far inebriated either cursing women or making a spectacular fool of myself trying to hit one one of the accursed women.
This way I save money, can watch horror movies that don't involve love and drift in and out of a cold medicine induced coma for the next few days.

Atleast I'm getting my laundry done.

On a positive note, I've had the pleasure of listening to the new Alkaline Trio album " This Addiction" and I have to give it high praise. I've been down on them...well... since anything after " From Here To Infirmary" for a number of reasons, lyrical content being subpar and not as biting as previous works, Matt's vocals being strained which lead to the balance of Matt vs. Dan songs being way off as well as they sounded more "arena rock" for lack of a better insult.
"This Addiction" turns back the clock to right around the end of the millennium when Trio was still full of potential to be a macabre NoFx, in the sense that they stayed just underground enough not to be on a major label and go overboard with the extra budget( which is what happened) and still had a huge loyal fanbase.
I think they got it right on this album, just enough punk roots and reigning in the mainstream rock sound that every other producer they worked with let them explore. They were back with Matt Allison on this one and the magic they have as a band and producer team shines on this.
Skiba is at his dark and snarky best and Dan keeps his odes to love equally as macabre. Some pretty rad drumming on this especially a couple songs in.
I won't go so far as saying this is a full blown return to the ALK 3 I have loved and grew up on but its a better than solid nod to yesteryear and hopefully a step in the right direction.
Good on ya guys.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

I'm Not Always a Fucking Retard

Warning I've had two "bubba kegs" of bourbon whiskey and cola so I'm a bit shit-canned right now. Take with grain of salt. fair warning

Fuck i'm sick of people thinking I'm a naive' idiot.
I know its expensive to move to So Cal. I am not under the impression it will be easy.
I am doing research on where is good and where is bad vs. price range.
Let me make my own mistakes or successes. I understand your point of view and knowledge but I wouldn't go out there on just a fucking wing and a prayer. I don't live in the fucking ghetto of MPLS and i would avoid it as much as i could on the west coast too.
I get some booze in me and if I start talking about something I am passionate about, it ramps it up tenfold. Its not anger until you think I'm angry then I get annoyed because you cannot descern the difference.
I love it that I have been faulted by certain people for not having any passion or desires and then when I show some passion and motivation and desire I get faulted by other people for being an asshole.
I'm just gonna be my fucking self, like it or not. OK?!?!?!?!

Hell this plan of going out west is on such shakey ground right now that it might fall through or it might happen.... I DON"T FUCKING KNOW.
I just want to have SOMETHING I look forward to, some purpose that I still exist because not having a job and being stir crazy in the apartment in the winter is killing me.
Pretty much everything I put effort or hope into falls through spectacularly but I'm still trying to make something work while I'm not bogged down. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

This is something that needs to be about ME, not anyone else right now. Its selfish but its honest.
I'm a pretty terrible friend to anyone so why does anyone expect better from me?
I've been both a shit-tastic boyfriend and an amazing "potential" boyfriend but I have yet to have a chance to put what I've learned from my mistakes into practice yet... but thats a whole nother can of worms that I'm dwelling on.

Final Summation... Can you blow me where the pampers is????

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Musta Made a Wrong Turn at Albuquerque

Looks like plans for the San Diego move are slowly falling through...
My buddy Adam is staying in Wisconsin. I understand why, school and job stability and what not, but besides my friends, I've got nothing holding me here in the Midwest.
And winter looming half the year around this place is pushing me closer to wanting to leave. Even if its just long enough to re-appreciate the change of season.
I'm not mad at him for deciding against the plan.
My mind is set on going, I might just wait a bit later, maybe in July when my lease is up here.
I need to go.
It is a must
Hopefully I'll find someone who wants to pick up and head west with me or find a roommate out there.
Dammit, I was really looking forward to living with him and his ladyfriend.
Kinda wanna scream at the moment. This is just a test of wills and I'm a stubborn motherfucker.
So no more nights out at the bar, just gonna stay in and conserve cash as much as I can and keep an eye out for people needing roommates on craigslist.
Cocksucker!!! I'm really fucking frustrated on alot of fronts right now and this is just another shovel onto the pile of shit.
Just another thing falling through.
Wah wah wah, poor me, blah blah blah

Anyways... still be illin' from acclimatizing myself back to cold weather.
I also went on sunday and got my ears stretched to a 2 gauge plug.
I haven't been sleeping normally because i think my body is still on Brisbane time. Been waking up at 2am and staying awake til daybreak then sleeping til 2:30.
Wasting the days away.
Starting tomorrow morning I'm gonna kick my self in the ass and get up and hour earlier ever day for the rest of the week to train my body to get up at a normal damn time.
I'm keeping my eyes peeled for boxes to pack up my non essential items into. That should keep me motivated to get the fuck outta dodge.

My life in the Mini Apple at the moment. Smell the blandness.

final summation... some random non-sequitur or somethin'....FUCK!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Johnny Jump Up= Epic Nights

Welcome home drunk= mission accomplished.
Last night was a scatter of bit and pieces of CC Club glory.
Johnny Jump ups were pounded so were cherry bombs, hung out with totally random ass people. I think I stayed til bar close.
I think some dude was awesome enough to give me a ride home.
I might have had a drunken shower/ puking party.
I kind of taste beef jerky????
There are quite a few "what the fuck happened" moments.
This my friends is a shitshow night with a capital S. The only way to come home to Minnesnowta.
I was Loud.
I was Obnoxious
I hit on a couple girls??????
I am hung-fucking-over
I am home.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Today is a Good Day To Die

These are the words my dad said to me in Madison airport as he and I were awaiting to a flight to Las Vegas for a ski/snowboard convention show and I was in full panic attack mode.
You know what, it actually helped.
Anytime I fly or get overly scared I hear his voice echo in my head the phrase " today is a good day to die" and it gives me alot of comfort.
According to him it was a phrase that a certain Native American tribe would utter before heading into battle. I'm sure its paraphrased and what have you but its the most comforting words before a flight to hear besides " here is your double whiskey coke no ice sir"
In a few hours my Australian adventure comes to a close and I'll be cruising over the Pacific Rim at a couple hundred miles an hour.
I've seen a bunch of really cool stuff, lazily explored the city, camped on the beach, hung out and relaxed in the hella heat and humidity.
Just generally escaped winter.
22 hours from take off in Brisbane to touchdown in MPLS, weather permitting. Take a little nap then out for welcome home drinks at the CC Club.

There will be pictures galore when i get home on both here and my facebook( oh that fucking facebook!!!)
You might get an update when I get into LAX.

Final Summation: Cuz Momma, Momma I'm cominnnnnn' hoooooooooooooommmmmeeeeee...

The Taco Avenger

A few weeks back my buddies in In Defence filmed a new video at Eclipse Records for "(dont call me) Moshist". Its finally finished at pretty damn rad.
Be on the look out for Billy from D4 as the Minneapolis Mosh Police. Also if you look carefully one of the first crowd surfers is my pal AJ from SUPERVOLCANO.
Good work guys but coulda used some more pizza, just sayin'

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

In the land of Rape and Honey

Almost time to head back into the bitter coldness of the Minneapolis winter. There are some things that I am looking forward to...
cheap vitamin water.
my glorious day swallowing bed.
My compatriots.
movie night.
uploading pictures from my trip.
A nice drunk at the CC Club.
Slowly starting to pack up to move to San Diego.
Tasty frozen pizzas.
Lazy video game days.

I am going to miss the lizards and the warm paradise of Brisbane.
I loved the ocean and the randomness of my trip.

Beware, I feel a rant coming on in the next few days, Beatles related( anyone who knows me we or had seen me wasted at the bar has probably heard this argument more times than they care to but I like making it so be on the look out)

Final summation: be lucky you aren't B word fat. You can't be picked out as fat just from saying words starting with B