I've been internet lazy lately.
I'm on it but no energy to do any sort of update on any of the THREE of the sites I contribute to. I feel like I'm neglecting things. Sad that I feel some obligation to share with the world when most of it could give a rats ass about what I have to say. Guess it's a "you give, we take" relationship.
Anyway. SO I am a dad. No more waiting. Thats the good part. Now I can eat when I want because more likely than not if I am not working I'm at home and have quick access to the bathroom which helps tremendously. I do go a bit stir crazy being at home and not wanting to watch my movies or play my video games even though I do it out of habit more than anything. I've been reading some when I get a small chance, few pages here and there.
Largely I've been avoiding the news because oh so pathetically, I can't get myself to care enough anymore. Nothing changes, same old wool being pulled over everyones eyes so the poor are pitted against the poor and the rich get richer so why exasperate myself further by hearing about it. I'd rather immerse my mind in movie news. I find that infinitely more interesting.
Baby news. Lucia is doing well. She sleeps alot, eats even more and then pisses and moans when she is awake and alert.
Makes me feel like an asshole sometimes how frustrated I get when I've done everything I can and she is still fussy. I'm sooooooooo looking forward to when she starts becoming a happy smiley baby that can be entertained by simple things.
I am great with one year olds and above but I've had zero experience with newborns until now. I knew it was gonna be a lot of work. I have to give Suzy so fucking much credit. She has the patience of a saint and does whatever she can to make things easier. Hopefully soon Lucia will start to get in a routine and relax some so she will take more of a shine to me, right now its mom and daughter bonding mostly. She hardly wants anything to do with me because I am boob-less so laying on my chest is not comforting to her. She only is content with me when I am feeding her.
It will get better. I am counting the days til I'm as entertaining as she finds Suzy. Just wish I could be more useful with Lucia without getting so quick tempered. My mom was like that when I was first born then once she calmed down my dad was the hot-head in the family so its tough for me to fight through those moments of sheer annoyance or frustration. I'm trying my best but sometimes it overwhelms me. I am so lucky Suzy is there and likes to take over at those moments. Not like I'd do something stupid like "shake the baby" but I just have times when I need to walk away from the situation and recollect myself because babies sense when you are getting annoyed and they act accordingly to ramp up the situation. Which is where the taking a time out to relax and start over helps and if Suzy wasn't such a saint I'd be lost.
I'll be working my entire birthday weekend since we lost the other assistant manager at work and as we are training a new one my manager is taking this weekend for vacation. At-least all my shifts this week minus my weekend shifts are short. I'll have to celebrate my birthday the following Tuesday I guess. I'll make it through, though I really wish I were spending my birthday weekend with my MPLS friends, but most of them aren't really on speaking terms with each-other anymore so it might be awkward when I do see them all again.
Time to take the garbage out then head on out to work.
I'm off like a prom dress after two wine coolers.
I'll try and update again soon.