Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Tired? You don't even know, friendo...

I do not know how some people do it.
Being a stay at home parent in theory sounds like a blast, but in practice I think I would go bonkers. Lucia already runs circles around me the few hours we are together when I get off of work. She exhausts the living hell out of me. I feel really bad about it when she CONSTANTLY asks "please play with me" and it is then basically just her running around the house back and forth while I try to "catch her". And I'm soooooo worn out already.

When I get home from work I am so tired to begin with and most days it takes all my energy to stay awake and cook dinner. Then she has a motor mouth. Saying there is no "quiet time" is the Marianas Trench of understatements. Alot of what she says is pretty damn amusing but the waterfall of whining mixed with questions that are always followed up by "what you say" 5 times until I say "you heard me".  Bedtime is the highlight of some of my nights.
I know this doesn't make me the worst parent in the world but I sure feel that way. I'd love to have that manic energy she has from 5am until bedtime so I could play with (or at very least keep up with) her until she puts herself to bed but I just don't. I feel like I should be one of those guys who had kids at like 70 with a young wife and he just naps while the kid runs around the house like a maniac. And that's sad.

And don't get me wrong, I fully realize how lucky I am to have a little girl who catches on to things so quickly. Miss Lucia Phair is whipsmart for her age. Listening to her hand out candy to trick r treaters and saying things like "I love your costume, Captain America" melts my fucking heart. It's sickly sweet how much that gets me but as I'm sure 90% of parents know that there are times when you wish your kid would ask to go to bed at 5pm and sleep in until 8am the next morning. It also doesn't help that she is at that stage where she will comply with NOTHING we ask of her. "Please stop throwing things" quickly turns into (in mean booming parent voice) "YOU'RE NOT LISTENING, GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!!!!!!!!!!! with like a million exclamation points behind it. It's not pretty nor fun when repeated calm requests are stone faced ignored. I know this is one of those phases that will probably reappear more than once but right now I want it to end so I can enjoy my Lucia time, rather than only uttering "stop that" every other sentence. So there is my "I feel like a crappy/frazzled/lazy parent" venting.

New diet adjustment... I've been on my new dietary restrictions for about two weeks now. I started earlier than my Nov. 1st start date to ease into it and it's gone pretty good so far. I've broken down a couple of times and snuck in some halloween candy. If it's anywhere near my reach I have a difficult time saying no. I've done really good in some situations where junk food was all around me and I made the healthy choices.
I'm having fun adding different ingredients into my cooking thanks to the help of my cousin Chaffie's partner Jennifer giving me some great recipe ideas and my old friends Michelle and Caroline for support and encouragement. It was good to hear this self imposed diet test thing has worked for other people. And my friend Bari for giving me a massive amount of information to help me start working on my diet test. Much appreciated all around.
I still have major cravings for desserts, not so much bread and that type of stuff. Watching for gluten, sugars, and high fructose corn syrups being added into so many different foods that you wouldn't expect unless you know what to look for has been a pain in the ass. But that's the way the food manufacturers want it so not totally surprising.
Another week and I'll begin to reintroduce a few different foods that I've been missing like cheese as an example. Then go from there. I know there are going to be some foods that I've cut out that I could care less to even bother re introducing.
The big step will be to find out how to make some tasty desserts that won't cause my digestive system to flair up by using alternative all natural ingredients. I'm happy to cut out as much processed foods as I can as long as each meal leaves me feeling satisfied and not hungry again 20 minutes later. But for now baby steps.

Final summation: just keep swimming, just keep swimming. 

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